My Emotional Transformation

I'm a pleaser.

As I am a working mom, I've fallen into that trap of putting everyone’s needs before my own.  I'm also the oldest daughter and granddaughter and fit into all the characteristics of the first born daughter.

I have a feeling many of you can relate to being a pleaser.

I put my daughters needs first, making sure they have their homework done, their lunches are made, they are at their extracurricular activities, play with them. Ensure my hubby’s happy, his lunch is made, give him the freedom for his activities, and massage his back. I enjoy helping my family out. I make time to see them, offer to bring the casserole or other dishes. Spending time with friends, catching up  on each other’s lives, hanging out or even playing sports or doing other activities together.  My job challenges me daily. It’s demanding and there are days where I don’t take a break or lunch or even where I do some work at home. 

Don’t get me wrong –I do enjoy this.  But what I was finding was that I found myself growing bitter, resentful and even depressed.

It was especially bad over this last winter. 

In March I made the decision and was determined to turn it around.

I was doing some research on the 21 Day Fix nutrition plan when I came across BeachBody and my coach. I decided to go for it and signed up for the 21 Day Fix, Shakeology, and joined my first Challenge Group (even though I had no idea what any of that really was).

I did 2 rounds of 21 Day Fix, 2 months of Insanity Max 30 and 3 different Challenge Groups. I got incredible results with I've vulnerably shared on my blog and Facebook.  I am still a work in progress with my physical transformation.

My shifts emotionally have been equally incredible and am also still a work in progress in the department.

Each day I get up and schedule time for myself to practice my self-care.  I'm starting to re-fill my tank. Working out, feeding my body with delicious healthy foods, drinking my daily dose of dense nutrition, breathing deeply, meditating and intention setting.

I notice changes in my behaviour, outlook and reactions to my family when I'm taking care of myself vs. when I'm not.

What I want most is for my daughters to be strong, independent, confident women who are passionate and find things they love to do.  I can teach them and give them all the tools to do that, but is that really how they are going to learn? I know I NEED to model that behaviour for them. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. No matter what.

In order for me to be those things to be that role model I desire, I require myself to take time for myself.

Am I Strong, Independent, Confident and Passionate?  YES…and NO. But I am working on it. Always trying to learn and grow.

At the end of the day, if my girls see it in me and take time for themselves to become the women they want to be, then that is all I could have hoped for.